Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
