what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
