had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
