I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
