I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
