well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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