So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
