i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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