Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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