bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
