I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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