Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
