I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
