I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
