People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
