He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
