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You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My pussy is not your playground.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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