I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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