I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
