There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
