is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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