i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
