Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
