Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
