addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We need to rekindle our bromance
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
