where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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