1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize