Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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