Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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