no you cant smoke seaweed
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize