tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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