problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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