Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
