so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
