someone threw a dead crab at me
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
