D3 body, D1 cock
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
