I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
