I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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