My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
