I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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