dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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