Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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