just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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