maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize