Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
