you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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