And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
