I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
