I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
