Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
false alarm. still invincible.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
