Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
