toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize