I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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