for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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