i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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