billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
