She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
