Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
