I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
