3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You don't make any sense
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