She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
