David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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