There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
