Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
