You're a womanizer and a bitch.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
