Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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