yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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