Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
