If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I enjoy the company of your penis
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