i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
