remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
