My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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