i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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