I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
