All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
you made out with another girl for some wings
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
