Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
