On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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