i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
