wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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