Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
