What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
