before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
