I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Randomize
